Hearing loss is more common than you think. You may notice a family member asking “What are you saying?” more and more often, having the television on standby, or avoiding conversations in company. It can be frustrating – for you, but certainly for the other person as well. Still, it’s a tricky subject to broach. How do you help someone with hearing loss without coming across as patronizing or pedantic? In this blog we give you practical tips, insights and ways to show your commitment without falling into the role of ‘hearing police’.
Hearing loss is not black and white
Let’s start with this: hearing loss comes in many forms and degrees. Not everyone with hearing loss is completely deaf, and not everyone experiences the same symptoms. Some people can still hear low tones just fine, but miss the high frequencies. Others can hear speech, but have difficulty in noisy environments.
In addition, hearing loss often creeps into life slowly. Many people get used to the “new normal” and don’t even notice how much they are missing. Or they don’t want to admit it, out of shame, fear of old age or simply because they think it’s not that bad. This makes it extra difficult for a loved one to start the conversation.
Recognize the signs, but be patient
You may have already picked up some signals: conversations that need to be repeated, avoidance of group conversations, or frustration with phone calls. These signals are important, but they do not yet mean that someone is ready to accept help.
Don’t try to come up with solutions right away, but observe with patience. Give space. People are more likely to feel attacked if you get right to the point: “You just have bad hearing, you need a hearing aid.” Such an approach usually backfires. Hearing loss doesn’t just affect the ear – it also affects self-image.
Make it personal, not medical
Instead of starting the conversation with numbers or diagnoses, it’s better to talk from yourself. For example:
- “I notice that we understand each other less when there is background noise. I think that’s a shame, because I just love talking to you.”
- “During that dinner, I had the idea that you were somewhat aloof. Is that true, or am I mistaken?”
By making the conversation personal and focusing on connection, you prevent the other person from feeling attacked. You show that you notice because you care about the person, not because you think you know better.
Small gestures make a big difference
Once you are aware of a loved one’s hearing loss, there are simple things you can do to make communication easier – without emphasizing it:
- Speak clearly and articulate well, without shouting excessively.
- Look at the other person when you talk so they can see your mouth moving.
- Limit background noise if you can, such as by turning down the radio or TV.
- Provide context before you say something so the other person knows what the conversation is about.
By subtly adjusting your communication, you show that you are considering the other person without making an issue of it.
Look for solutions together
Sometimes it helps to look for solutions together, rather than imposing something. For example, you could look together for aids that make life easier – such as an amplified doorbell, a phone with a louder speaker, or hearing protection that also provides peace of mind when overstimulated. Or you could offer suggestions without pushing:
- “I read something the other day about hearing aids that you can hardly see. Maybe that would be something for you?”
- “You know that alarm clock with vibration function? Seems handy – also for when your partner doesn’t need to be woken up.”
Be curious rather than controlling. People step over barriers faster if they feel they are in control.
Avoid the trap of patronization
It’s well-intentioned, yet it often goes wrong: filling in for the other person, finishing sentences, or repeating over and over what another person missed. You try to help, but it soon feels like you’re treating the other person like a child. And that backfires.
Give your loved one space to indicate for themselves when something is not clear. Ask, “Did you get everything?” rather than repeating it automatically. And if someone doesn’t understand you, rephrase your sentence instead of saying exactly the same thing again. That often works better – and avoids frustration.
Listening is as important as speaking
Hearing loss can be isolating. People drop out, feel left out or misunderstood. This is precisely why listening is so important. Not just literally, but figuratively as well. Ask how someone feels. What is difficult. What is already working well. What is still missing. You don’t have to have a solution for everything – sometimes your involvement is enough.
Get professional help at the right time
If you notice that the hearing loss is really impacting your daily life – and your loved one is starting to suffer from it themselves – it’s time to seek outside help. Consider an appointment with the audiologist (that’s us!), family doctor or ENT doctor. Offer to go with them, without pushing. Many people like it when you think with them and go with them, but only when they themselves are ready.
There are also resources online that provide insight into hearing problems in an approachable way. Think online hearing tests, informative blogs, or videos where people share their experiences.
And what if someone really doesn’t want anything?
Sometimes a person is stuck in denial. No matter what you say or do, everything is waved away. That can be frustrating – especially when you know how much better life can get with a little help. Still, the key remains: patience.
Stay available, stay friendly, stay involved. Sometimes it just takes longer. But those who feel seen will eventually move sooner than those who feel judged.
Discussing hearing loss is a form of love
It’s not easy to start a conversation about hearing loss. It touches on vulnerability, aging, change. But by starting that conversation, you show care, attention and love. You show that you take the other person seriously. Not as a patient, but as a human being.
And no, you don’t have to be an expert. Not a hearing specialist. Not an audiologist. The most important thing you can do is listen. Literally and figuratively. With open ears, an open heart, and a willingness to do it together.
